Thursday, February 19, 2009

Long, strange trip

.. what a long, strange trip it's been.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your calls, cards, emails, blogs, good wishes, prayers; thanks for all of it and from each one of you. I want you to know I've been equal and fair in not replying or talking to anyone. All I can say in defense is that it is very hard to talk to others. I don't think I've written an email in two weeks. So it goes.

Sometimes I get misty eyed because I feel so fortunate. I'm so grateful. My treatment has been rough and I know there are more hurdles to vault, but I'm so lucky to have such a tremendous support system in place, to have so many around me that love me? I think of others that have to go through this alone and how horrible that must be. I'm grateful for all the wonderful medical personnel that are helping, the great medical insurance, having a job where they want my recovery first, the wife, the children. I am so blessed. I am so grateful for ice water, my constant friend and companion. I guess I'm grateful because I know it could have been worse.

I've spent years trying to be a spiritual person, making deposits into a spiritual account, by praying and meditating daily or trying to be of some service to others without regard for return. I now make massive withdrawals from that account daily and I am here to tell you that that account is endless, and it's endless regardless of how many or what type of deposits you've made. I turned my cancer over to God (Universe, Higher Power, God, whatever term you wish to use; I don't wish to offend any) and He is in charge of how it all will work out. My job is to try and do what I think he would want me to do as best as I can.

Thanks to Anna and Caroline, the two oldest that were here all weekend for being so helpful, and, of course, Grace. The last few days have been about Mama; Kay has had her hands more than full with family logistics. The Roberts are a tremendous family and it is a privilege to be part of that family. I don't know if you heard it, but I think I heard a little bell ring last Thursday, early am. My guess is Mama got her wings. God Bless you Mama and thanks for everything you did for so many of us.

6 comments:

  1. Jayme,
    Thanks for sharing your strength. It's a privilege to be along on your long strange trip.
    Bill

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  2. One day at a time really takes on new meaning. It is really one step at a time knowing you are moving forward even when you feel like that step is backward.

    You are in my prayers,
    Dianne

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  3. Chris and Reid checking in. We're thinking and praying for you and your family every day, just the way you taught us! Get better, because we need you!

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  4. Hi Jayme,
    A few words from Isaiah 43:2-3 to ponder:
    "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
    For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior....."
    Herb & Marilynn

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  5. Good to hear from you brother. It's funny how we have chosen two different paths on growing a family but still have a large and loving family around us, we are truly blessed. Keep up the positive attitude and try to rent some funny movies, Laughter has healing properties and is just plain feels good. Love #6

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  6. Miss and love you, Dad. I know starting chemo again tomorrow will be tough but you're "strong like bull" and will beat it. I am here for you and only an email/cell phone away (as is Anna). Don't hesitate to call, even if it's only for a minute. Looking forward to seeing you in March!

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